What to do if the wife has changed: the advice of a psychologist

For any man, regardless of age, infidelity spouse will be a real shock. When a husband catches his wife for treason, he doesn’t know what to do. Constant thoughts and finding out the reasons for what is happening are literally driving you crazy. A man is simply lost, puzzling over the question: "Forgive or let go?". Let's figure it out together, early in despair.

Why wife cheated

In any serious question it is worth starting from the true causes of what is happening, we will try to figure them out in order to partially alleviate the situation or find an answer for ourselves, why she did it.

1. Women are sensual beings, they are looking for love in everything. Perhaps your spouse has met a man who has caused a fleeting sympathy.In this case, she realizes that everything is not serious, but the lady is still drawn to him.
2. If you suspected your wife of infidelity, perhaps she wanted revenge. Representatives of the weaker half cannot always come to terms with anger and resentment that are deep in their souls.
3. Perhaps one of the most common reasons is the lack of attention from her husband. If a spouse ceases to admire his wife, forgets about elementary compliments and support in difficult times, she will look for it all on the side.
4. In cases where a lady with a lover is connected only by intimate intimacy, betrayal could occur due to problems of a sexual nature. If in your bed the light went out, the woman was not satisfied. These are commonplace physiological needs.
5. When infidelity is noticed by a super-impulsive and emotional woman, it can be assumed that adultery was a spontaneous decision. In such situations, the psycho-emotional environment of the girl quickly returns to normal, she cries, is ashamed and prays for forgiveness.
6. If you change a strong and independent woman, which except with her lover and not having fun with anyone, this is understandable.Often this applies to business and busy women who do not receive the care of their husbands and cannot at least relax for a moment.
7. Do not lose sight of the old relationship. Many ladies mistakenly believe that sex with the former is not considered a betrayal. More precisely, deep down they are sorry, but not in the way that today's husbands would like.
8. Carefully analyze the environment in which your spouse spends a lot of time. If only frivolous persons were circling around her, they could “convey” their beliefs to their wife. That is, she trite confused.

What to do immediately after treason

1. If you caught a soul mate on infidelity, do not throw a tantrum. Try to behave calmly and indifferently, weigh each word. First you need to put pressure on her conscience, which should wake up.
2. Find an opportunity for your own privacy. You do not need to share with your buddies about the change that has happened, because everything said after that will be their thoughts, not yours. You need to understand yourself.
3. You must decide for yourself whether to forgive her or not. In the case of a positive answer, prepare for the difficulties in the relationship, because even after 5 years you will remember it. If not, tune in to the life of a bachelor.
4. If you do not mind going to a bar or sitting down at the TV with a bottle of beer, follow the measure. No need to drown what happened in alcohol, keep a sound mind.
5. Remember one truth - if a person made a mistake 1 time, you can still forgive him. But when the mistake happens twice, three times, run away from your wife.
6. Also, do not let out anger at the one with whom the spouse was caught. A lover might not have known that a woman has a husband. This is a very fine line that needs to be clarified before waving your fists.

When can you save a relationship

Experienced specialists who have been working in the field of psychology for more than a year give their recommendations on this matter.

1. If you really love your wife, do not cut the heat of the moment. Analyze yourself, your character, then after a while make a decision. No need to shout out loud that you hate her. Anger will pass, old emotions will flare up, black will sooner or later cover up with white.
2. After you find time for solitude and think it over, try to calmly talk to your wife. Find out why she did it. Make your own conclusions, then make your decision without haste.
3. Pay special attention to the woman if she repents, cries, sincerely regrets. Find out the exact cause of infidelity, then take the time to think. When you come to your senses and fully accept the situation, you can begin to restore the relationship.

How to restore relationships

1. After such an event, men find it hard to recover from an emotional blow. Often comes depression. This condition is quite dangerous, do not underestimate it. Unstable psycho-emotional background can seriously harm health in general.
2. It is still possible to emerge from such a state after treason, it is necessary to tune in and prepare for it correctly. Consider, it will take some time to restore the previous state. It does not matter, you decide to leave or forgive your spouse.
3. To ease the condition a bit, you can talk to a psychologist. A specialist will give helpful tips. At the session of therapy, it is necessary to discuss all the pressing issues and understand how to restore the previous relationship.
4. Analyze the situation and subconsciously convince yourself that the betrayal of the woman he loved could be an accident.This will not happen again. Discard all negative and obsessive thoughts about the situation.
5. If you have enough free time, take on additional activities. Work more, go to the gym, take time to your favorite hobby. Experts say that such a pastime will heal heartache.
6. You can also continue to communicate with each other and push the situation into the background. Behave as if you live with a neighbor, do not need to be revealed. Otherwise, you can hurt each other. Cover your inner space, meditate alone.
7. Develop with your friends, organize a holiday without a spouse. Such a decision from any side will be correct. You can check how to cope with jealousy and show how much you trust your companion. This feeling kills the relationship, so you need to fight him.
8. It is worth remembering that everything that was before is over. If you want to return your spouse, you need to start from scratch. Relationships build small confident steps. Before you start all over again, try to find out why this happened at all.
9. Pay more attention to your companion, if you please. If a woman made a gross mistake and really loves you, wants to fix it, you will see it. The wife will try to help you. You do not need to remember the past, live in the present.
10. Gradually start to communicate more and more on various topics. Try not to argue. Understand, the game should not be in one gate, it is not you who is to blame. If you see that a woman is not trying to fix everything, end the relationship immediately.
11. In other cases, support the spouse. Remember the first days of your meeting, you were happy. Bring back the old time and remember moments together. You need to understand that after all you are still well together.
12. If you are wise enough people, it will take a little time to restore the previous relationship. Without thinking, go on a trip. Arrange a second honeymoon. Surround each other with tenderness and attention. Fall in love with the new. Create a romantic atmosphere.

When there is no chance to save marriage

1. Save the old relationship does not work in those cases, if the spouse periodically goes to the left,and also practically does not repent of what happened. You do not have to pull this marriage through force.
2. If in response to her betrayal, you changed as well. In this case, the barrier of loyalty between the spouses is completely broken, there is no point in restoring something if both of them do not strive for it.
3. It will not be possible to restore marriage bonds if, after “forgiveness”, you try to forget everything, but after each sentence you let your wife reproach her and humiliate her. Subsequently comes the understanding that the question of infidelity hung in the air and remained unresolved.
4. You should not rely on the opinion of relatives who encourage you to forgive your spouse just because there are common children. The child will live in constant clashes and reproaches, he will form the wrong image of the family.
5. If, after the conversation, the spouse confessed real feelings to a stranger, do not hold her. Do not even try to forgive, ask the lady to leave. It should be understood that after this you can not take it back.

My wife changed with the boss - what to do?

1. Most believe that if the wife slept with the boss, then she was prompted by career growth and a large material increase in salary.Not always the case. If the companion once made a mistake, the case may be quite different.
2. Analyze the relationship with your spouse before this event. Perhaps you are constantly cursing and very distant from each other. The woman for the time endured all this and morally tuned to the offense.
3. If you have not paid due attention, feelings of tenderness to your wife, then the reason is obvious. Rare sex and a cold relationship spouses pushes such actions. Therefore, do not think that everything happened because of money. The boss was just there at the right moment.
4. In this case, first of all, you need to sit down and talk normally. Find out the reason for this act. Ask your wife why there is a need for another man. If treason occurs, no matter from which side, both are to blame. In happy people this does not happen.

Practical recommendations

1. If you learned about adultery, do not rush to make rash actions. Try to explain everything as much as possible. Otherwise, you can regret spontaneous decisions.
2. Retire for a while and cool down. Calm down and put your thoughts on the shelves. Talk with a half on a cold head.Calmly discuss what happened.
3. If it happened that the lover has serious intentions, and the wife sympathizes with this, do not hold her. All is lost, have dignity and do not be humiliated. Do not grovel for nothing.
4. Pay attention to how sincerely the spouse repents. In this case, it is worth finding out the reason for the bad deed. If necessary, visit a family psychologist.

Treason wife - a rather difficult situation. Women decide on this after long deliberation. Therefore, calmly find out the cause of the act. In most cases, the reason lies in your personal relationship. If you have cooled to each other for a long time, you should not be surprised. Try to fix everything or release your wife.

Video: how to forgive treason