What if the child is nervous and naughty

Each child is an individuality that does not depend on external factors. Of course, upbringing plays an important role in the development of the child’s personality, however, the character that was laid down at birth is much more important. Often, two different children grow up in the same family - calm, balanced and nervous, naughty. How can this be, because the upbringing and attitude of parents is identical? What to do in this case - to break the core of the crumbs or to give up a hand at him and not to pay attention to his antics? Today we will talk about the bad behavior of the child - why children become nervous and disobedient, how to make contact with the child and correct the situation on time.

Why the child becomes naughty

With the birth of a child, many moms and dads decide to raise a baby in an atmosphere of love and trust, especially if they grew up in childhood in austerity.But often excessive thrill, love and indulgence in whims does not bring anything good. The child ceases to feel the scope of what is permitted, he often checks the limit of parental patience. Why does the child behave badly, does not obey, is nervous? Here are some common reasons.

1. Tries to get attention. This often happens when the parents work and there is no time for an elementary intimate conversation with the child. Mom runs tired from work, takes the child from school or kindergarten. The child wants to share her impressions of the day, but the mother shrugs it off, says that you need to cook dinner before the arrival of dad and clean up. The kid is waiting for dad, but he is tired and wants to lie down in front of the TV. The child understands that to attract attention it is necessary to do something extraordinary and often this is manifested by disobedience.
2. Checks who is in charge. The child is psychologically trying to probe the limits of what is permitted. This often happens after a long stay with my grandparents, where everything is allowed. After such a relationship, the child thinks that his parents will accept him as well, but unfortunately this does not happen.And often the conflict develops into disobedience. Of course, the mandative tone is not the best choice for raising a child, but the kid should always know and understand that you are adults whose opinion you need to listen to.
3. Low self-esteem. Sometimes a child is raised in an atmosphere of humiliation and prohibitions. When a child is constantly compared with someone, they say that he will fail and in general he is weak and ugly, the child builds a protective wall around himself, he does not listen and snaps.
4. Jealousy. Sometimes children of 4-7 years old start to behave badly if a little brother or sister appears in the family. The child may begin to write in his pants, like a baby, ceases to clean up after himself, behaves untidy, asks to change clothes and feed with a spoon. The appearance of a baby in the house is a big stress for an older child, you have to survive the situation together.
5. Responsiveness. Sometimes children become nervous and behave badly in response to adult behavior. If you have not fulfilled this promise, deceived the child or betrayed his feelings, the baby cannot form a claim, he will be offended just like that.
6. Frequent bans. The child simply protests because of the constant parental restrictions and often quite reasonably. Regular bans lose the value of the word "no". Leave the ban only on the dangerous moments that threaten the life and health of the child. You can not take a knife, touch a hot kettle, climb into the outlet. But you can dig deeper in the sand, and you can run through the puddles, it is better to wash and dry your clothes once more than to build a wall of mistrust and prohibitions in front of your child.

There are many other reasons for disobedience that are somehow related to the factors listed above. But what if the reason for disobedience is hyperactivity?

Hyperactive children

Hyperactive children are notable for their restlessness, they quickly change their occupation, grab one after another. So kiddies hard at school, they can not sit quietly even a few minutes. Manifestations of ADHD are already noticeable from infancy - such children sleep poorly and little, constantly turning. Hyperactive children can not stand still, they constantly run, jump, spin or jump. Impatience is their main companion. Such children can not wait for something or someone, they are very talkative, often interrupt and shout. Children diagnosed with ADHD react very strongly to criticism, are nervous, and do not listen to adults. If you find similar symptoms in your child, you should consult with a neurologist. Understand, your baby is not to blame, that his neural connections work exactly this way, and nothing else. But in order for a child to learn to perceive information and study well at school, the diagnosis must be treated.To do this, the doctor may prescribe medication sedatives that you need to drink courses. This will help not only you, but also your child. But the most important thing is working with a psychologist and building an adequate educational process.

How to raise a nervous and naughty child

If the baby does not have any problems with neurological health, then his behavior is the result of your upbringing or lack of it. Here are some practical tips to help you correct the situation.

1. Calm, only calm! Tantrums and various manifestations of disobedience are designed for your reaction. Try to always and in everything to remain calm and adequate parents. The kid lay down on the floor and threw a tantrum - do not react, because the child is just waiting for this. Keep quietly go about your business until he calms down. Of course, it can be quite difficult to do on the street, however, you can root out such habits only by complete disregard.
2. Talk heart to heart. Every day, find time for a child. Listen to his anxieties and feelings, build a confidential conversation and do not scold for the truth.If today you scold the kid for confessing about a broken vase, tomorrow he will not tell you about it. And in adolescence, and at all lose a thin thread of trust. In order for a child to listen to you at 15-20 years old, you need to listen to him in early childhood and not to neglect his problems. After all, a lost toy is just as important to him as an undelivered report for you. Listen to the child, give him advice, worry troubles and joys together. And then the baby will not have unspoken claims and hidden offenses.
3. Do not Cry! A child screams because he wants you to hear him, often he cannot express his emotions differently. Do not be like a child, explain everything calmly. If the baby is nervous - tell him that you love him anyone, even when he is angry.
4. Follow the rules. The child should know that the prohibitions are few, but they are unshakable. You can not play with the outlet, on any day of the week, at any time of the day, neither the child nor the adult can. Be consistent in your decisions. Threatened to give toys to a neighbor, if the child does not remove them? Keep your promise.And then the next time the baby thinks a hundred times whether to ignore your request for cleaning. Parents should be soft and firm at the same time.
5. Do not push, look for compromises. You are an adult who should not go to the principle. The child does not want to eat soup - leave him alone, eat a little later. My daughter refuses to put on a beautiful dress for a visit - let him put on what she likes and not you. Give in and you child. The kid does not want to collect toys? Offer to do it together or tell me that after cleaning you will drink cocoa together. The easiest way to scream and force. But your goal is not that. The child should not be afraid of parents, he should respect them.
6. Set an example. How should a child follow any rules if you don’t follow them? The child should look at you and understand that you need to treat people with respect, brush your teeth twice a day, wash your hands after a walk. How can you demand sports for your child if you yourself are constantly lying on the sofa in front of the TV? If a child sees how mom and dad respect each other, he is unlikely to allow himself to humiliate someone.
7. Do not suppress the child. Very often, aggression is born at the moment when mom speaks - it is impossible, because I so seemed. That is, the ban is placed only on the basis of your credibility. Do not do so in any case. It is necessary to explain to the kid why this cannot be done. Be sure to talk with your child at his level - sit down or take a crumb on his knees. Only in the “eye to eye” position can you achieve a confidential conversation.
8. Take the child. Often disobedience arises against the background of boredom or idleness, when the kid simply does not know how to entertain himself. Suggest your child to play something. Drawing, drawing up applications, modeling has an excellent soothing effect. In addition, joint activities will help you to establish contact.

Do not throw out the negative on the disobedient child, even if it is very difficult to do. Collect will into a fist and educate, talk, disassemble, be friends. The formation and upbringing of a child is a daily work, but it depends only on you what the baby will become tomorrow and how it will relate to different people and situations. Support, patience and parental love can melt even the most callous baby heart. Treat your child with understanding, and he will certainly answer you the same!

Video: how to cope with unmanaged children