How to get rid of self-doubt

In each person's life, situations arise in which he feels insecure. His fear binds, he seems so insignificant and incompetent to himself that he is absolutely not ready to cope with the task. Sometimes the uncertainty of a person is manifested in different areas of life. Someone feels confident in communicating with the opposite sex, but in the affairs of science he is a complete ignoramus. Another person feels like a fish in water among formulas and equations, but when he meets a beautiful lady he loses the gift of speech. How to overcome this insecurity and what its nature is, let's try to figure it out.

What is self-doubt

And really, what is this feeling? Why are we shackled by fear and horror in public speaking? Why does a person underestimate the significance of his person?

Self-doubt is a feeling in which you always thinkthat this or that action will not work out for you, that all your attempts are doomed to failure, and it is possible that they will start laughing at you. You do not believe in yourself, in your luck and success. In fact, it is very harmful and badly affects the course of successful affairs. After all, self-reliance is half the successful outcome. When you do not believe in your strength, you do not try yourself in something new. You are afraid to get a new job, because there are new colleagues, the situation and (oh, my God!) The new bosses. You have trembling thoughts about this change of scenery. You do not even think that a new place of work is a prospect, more worthy remuneration, and in general, a place of new work closer to home. However, people who are unsure of themselves will prefer to stay in the old workplace, where everything is familiar and familiar, so as not to face such an insurmountable task - changing the situation.

Uncertainty causes a person to bury his talents. Perhaps he draws well or sings, but restraint, secrecy and fear can interfere with showing his skills to the general public. Therefore, because of this fear, many talented people remain in the shadows. Do not let the insecurity brick up you!

Causes of self-doubt

But why does a person become uncertain and start to be afraid of everything? Is it really a character trait? Or is it an acquired feeling?

1. The main reason for self-doubt lies in children's settings. How much in the nature of the child can be laid in one simple phrase. Such simple words, abandoned by parents, are like, “you still can't do it,” “you don't have math skills,” “you won't come running anyway,” “will they take you to play in the play?” fail He understands that if even the closest relatives do not believe in him, then surely he will fail. The children do not have "and I will come running first to all the spite." He believes words that are said to him and believes that he is weak, stupid, and he has no talent at all. Many psychological problems, exactly, like insecurity, come from childhood.
2. A bad experience can also cause self-doubt and self-reliance. If a person was once laughed at the beginnings of his professional activity, if the fruits of his first job were not appreciated, this could be a collapse.A person ceases to believe in himself and in his own strength, he offers his services with dismay, agrees to work for a lower price, and sometimes leaves the profession. To avoid this, you need to strive to improve their skills and polish them daily. You need to be psychologically resistant to criticism.
3. Sometimes the reason for the lack of confidence in their abilities can be an overlook of the opinions of others. You constantly think what others will say if I do this and not otherwise. Regular comparison of yourself with the ideal, an attempt for all to remain good leads to constant rushes and the impossibility of making the right decision. Right for YOU, not for someone else.
4. Uncertainty can manifest itself in a family that you have already created. It happens that the husband does not believe in his spouse, laughs at her desire to go to work or open a business. Or even the desire to drive a car. The spouse instills in his wife the idea that the woman behind the wheel is dangerous, that women become the cause of accidents, etc. When the same idea scrolls in the head a huge number of times, it becomes a reality. My wife believes that it is better not to get behind the wheel, not to go to work and stay at home without sticking her nose out. It is overgrown with uncertainty, like a stump of moss in a damp ravine.
5. Also, uncertainty may occur due to the lack of success in some area of ​​human life. For example, the guy successfully learns, goes in for sports, he has a hobby, only now the girls do not get along. If in his entire life he did not have a positive experience with the opposite sex, if no one ever truly loved him, he feels immense insecurity in his abilities. Having met the girl, he is lost, does not know what to say, his confidence melts before our eyes. This will pass after the first successful experience - when he realizes that he, too, is worth something and can also be genuinely loved.

How to get rid of self-doubt

Life is flowing and changing. It has ups and downs that need to be overcome with dignity. If you lose heart from every trouble and every failure, you can never climb to the top. As the hero from one film says - “Fall, but rise every time.” Therefore, consider a few rules that will help you get rid of uncertainty.

1. The words that were spoken to you in childhood by parents, you will not return. However, today you are an adult self-sufficient personformed personality. And you understand that everything that was told to you by mom and dad, grandmother and grandfather may not be true. They can be wrong, like all adults. And the fact that they called you unlucky is just their subjective opinion. Try to pull yourself together and prove to everyone that everything will work out for you, in spite of their stupid statements.
2. You can not lose heart because of failures. Think about how many successful people have been denied work. In his youth, the richest man Bill Gates sent out his resume to dozens of companies and companies. However, no one offered him a job. And the famous Russian model Natalya Vodyanova received more than a hundred refusals from modeling agencies before they noticed her. Understand that luck is one case out of a hundred. This means that 99 times you will have to fall, rise and again go to meet the wind and adversity. Do not lose confidence in yourself, in your abilities and in your talent, if you want to achieve something worthwhile. Even famous athletes admit that 80% of success depends on hard work and hard work. And only 20% of the victory depends on the physical natural data. As they say, patience and hard work will be a bit more complicated.
3. Look in the mirror.Think about what kind of person you are? Good or bad? Good or evil? Successful or unlucky? Believe me, what you think about yourself is how you are. Think about what you are doing well. Perhaps you swim the fastest, or you make delicious cakes. Or maybe you dance better than anyone? Understand, you must find something that is superior. Feel the same confidence in other areas of your life.
4. In the formation of a new way of thinking, try to understand that everything depends on you. No extraneous circumstances. There is only you, your choice and your decision. Your future depends on you. And if you do not begin to struggle with circumstances, if you go in cycles in each failure, then so plunge into a swamp of anxieties, fears and uncertainties. Appreciate, praise and love yourself regardless of the opinions of others.

How to develop self-confidence

If you need an emotional jolt to become a more confident person, try some effective ways.

1. Timid girls should be confident in their beauty, femininity and charm. Go to the salon and change in appearance.Let it be a stylish haircut and trendy makeup, elegant manicure and a beautiful dress. In this form, go to the event, to the theater or to the club. You must make sure that men like you, that they look at you, that you are interesting to them. This is the best way to become more confident.
2. Confident people themselves solve all their problems. Imagine that you are a businessman who does not call a friend, mother or wife so that they can solve a question. Do everything yourself - whether it is paperwork, disputes with utilities, problems at the institute or loss of work. By the way, one of the signs of an uncertain person is that he cannot look for a job. If you give him a job - he works without complaints, but finding a job on his own is problematic.
3. Improve your body. Sometimes the cause of self-doubt can be overweight or underweight, dull unkempt hair, gray problem skin. Your appearance is a reflection of your relationship to the world. You can not treat him scornfully. You need to pull yourself together, eat right, lead a healthy lifestyle.A beautiful figure will give you confidence and begin to catch the eye.
4. Change the course of your thoughts and start believing in the successful outcome of your plan. For example, you were invited for an interview. This is your dream job that fully suits you. However, the lack of confidence in your abilities gives rise to the idea in your head “this is work for a high-class specialist, they probably don’t trust me” and the like. Naturally, with such thinking, you will never get a job. Going to an interview, you need to set yourself up for a positive outcome, imagine how you will work in a new place, how many creative ideas you will implement and in general, they are lucky to have such a professional as you! Convince your interlocutor that you are exactly what they need.
5. To develop self-confidence, you need to simulate several situations. For example, ask a cashier in a store or a stranger on the street to trade you a large bill. The usual thing, but for many timid people is a disaster. Having developed self-confidence in such trifles, you can easily get acquainted with a girl or boy who is attractive to you.

Confidence in yourself and your strength comes with time. With every successful step, with every successful business. Believe in your abilities that will bring you the worthy fruits of your efforts. Communicate with successful, confident people who, in their own experience, show that everything can be achieved simply, openly and easily. Live without fear and anxiety, you are the director of your life!

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