How to get rid of constant feelings of guilt

There is no person who would not make mistakes and you are no exception. Is it worth it to constantly think about what has already happened and remains in the past. A quarrel or unjustified expectations is a part of life, the main thing is to try to avoid repetition. Mistakes are a good opportunity to cultivate. But to be guilty and to feel oneself is not at all the same. It happens that a person blames himself in vain.

What is guilt

This is, above all, dissatisfaction with himself and his act, a subjective reaction to the violation of generally accepted values. According to psychologists, the feeling of guilt is formed from several interweaving of emotional experiences, but above all it is "remorse of conscience." In essence, guilt is the fear of being punished.

Causes of Guilt

Remember how your parents called you to your conscience when you didn't do something? Instilling guilt is one of the tools for raising children, few people manage without it. A kind of manipulation of the child, so that he understood what is good and bad. For example, the son tore jeans, jumping over the fence - it means that the family will have to save on something to buy new ones. Or, the daughter behaved badly in the classroom, now the parents will have to justify themselves to the director and blush with shame. All this gradually accumulates over the course of one's life and may become the cause of unjustified self-incrimination. There is also an option when the baby is guarded by a sense of guilt so that he will no longer be scolded. After all, if he begins to worry, then the parents or teachers understand that the child is aware of his behavior.

There is the opposite type of education. For example, the baby is constantly praised for any reason and without it. When parents consider their child the most intelligent, beautiful, kind, and so on. They see him in the future as an excellent doctor, lawyer or singer. Then time passes, and the parents see that their son or daughter did not meet the expectations, it turns out that they had a very ordinary child.Growing up, a person realizes that he has not realized his parental hopes in life, therefore frustration in himself gradually develops in him.

Society, religion, parents - throughout life set the rules for a particular behavior. An adult who has committed a small misdemeanor and violated the prohibition may subsequently experience a feeling of shame and guilt from the offense for a long time.

In addition, the feeling of guilt is peculiar to a particular type of person. If a person is subject to fear, anxiety, insecurity - then, of course, blame yourself and for everything here and there. It seems to him that if they did not look at him that way, they rudely answered or ignored him, then there is no one to blame but himself. There are also individuals who never admit their mistakes, so it’s easier for them to blame the other person for everything. And here inspired and sensitive people will easily fall into such a trap.

What causes guilt

"Remorse of conscience" can lead to uncertainty, apathy and finally turn into a depressive state. In society, such a person will be mainly used for personal purposes, because it is so easy to manage.For example, if at work you need to do a job for someone, then it will be difficult to refuse, because suddenly a disagreement will help to offend a colleague. Therefore, instead of spending your day off, you are sitting in an office and doing someone else's project. Or, you are ready to eat a tasteless dish, just to not upset the mother-in-law. But people who use your sacrifice rarely truly appreciate it.

Feeling down insomnianeurosis anxiety, emptiness, depression - all this is an incomplete list of what can be turned not passing feeling of guilt.

How guilt affects a person

In order not to suffer from the "voice" of conscience, a person punishes himself. A child who is inculcated with a constant feeling of shame deliberately hurts himself - strikes bruises and fractures. So he shows his parents that he was punished for his fault.

Adults prescribe a program to punish themselves on a psychological level. Installation in the head, do not allow a person to be happy, because, in his opinion, he did not deserve it. They are strengthened every year and interfere with living a full life. Here are a few such programs:

• “Friends will always be more successful than me, since I am unlucky in my life”;
• “My account is loneliness”;
• "So as I have not planned, nothing happens."

Do you know such statements and thoughts? All this is self-torture. A person simply does not allow himself to be happy and live in harmony with himself. And if something really good happens to him, he does not attach any importance to it. In his opinion, you should not even get used to it, anyway, soon everything will be bad.

For a person who is constantly feeling guilty, it is easier to miss and wait for punishment. He is like a criminal who is handcuffed, and thoughts are a policeman. A person consciously pushes himself in a cage and believes that he is not worthy of the best.

Maybe blame yourself enough for everything? It's time to consider your life completely, throw off the shackles, stop thinking negatively and be responsible for the mistakes of others.

How to get rid of constant feelings of guilt

First, determine the source from which this feeling originated. Look at the people you communicate with. Perhaps shame is imposed on you by your parents, husband or friends. Or your boss is manipulating you.If the feeling of shame is imposed not by yourself personally, but by the environment, then it is necessary to break off all contacts with these people, thereby getting rid of psychological pressure. Of course, it’s impossible to get away from native people, so you need to take the will into a fist and start fighting for your personality.

So, you have discovered a source of negative thoughts. Further, it is necessary to understand and figure out whether there are reasons for such accusations. If your guilt does not really exist, and these are just empty accusations, relax. Remember, it is impossible to please everyone, everyone has their own vision and perception of the world. Do not blame yourself every time that your behavior caused a negative reaction from another person. Remember, when you didn’t like something in a person, was it the cause of his guilt in front of you?

Take it easier - did not like it, go away. Do not be afraid to quarrel with a man, just because you did not live up to his expectations, if you are dear to him, he will stay with you. After all, you do not immediately throw a loved one or friend, because of his mistakes. Put yourself in the place of another, and then you will understand that there is nothing wrong with your behavior.First of all, you need to evaluate yourself, and not chase the opinions of other people.

A person who blames everything else is incapable of realizing his own mistakes. No need to go on about these people. It is their problem that they can not perceive themselves as critical. In fact, subconsciously, they understand their guilt, but it is easier for them to blame others than to admit it. Just know that there are such people and do not take their accusations seriously.

If you still have something to be ashamed of, put your negative thoughts on a piece of paper. Carefully analyze the situation, paint everything in detail and tear it apart or burn it. Let everything be left behind, never return anything. A conversation with loved ones or with whom you are ashamed of can help you cope with the situation more easily. Do not hold in yourself, talk about it, admit your guilt out loud. It may turn out that a person has long forgiven you, now it's your turn to forget about it. And always draw conclusions about actions in order not to repeat your mistakes anymore.

If the feeling of guilt does not recede, make him your ally, become more responsible. Rise on a career ladder, envy a family, invite many guests to the house, be always in the company of people who love you and your shortcomings.Always dress beautifully, go out more, get an interesting hobby.

Every person was wrong, without this it is impossible to live. Of course, this does not justify some actions committed by malicious intent. But if you did something bad, make a mistake - repent and apologize. And when you are accused of all mortal sins for no reason, tell yourself and others: “There are no ideal people,” smile and leave with your head held high.

Video: how not to feel guilty