How to learn to control your anger and aggression

Every year the society becomes more and more aggressive. People do not want to give in to each other, they get annoyed because of every little thing, they are rude, they are rude and they only hear themselves. They are accustomed to living according to a certain plan, and if something went wrong, they immediately lose their temper. Why is this happening, and is it possible to change it. After all, anger towards loved ones or colleagues can permanently spoil the relationship.

According to psychological surveys, the majority of Russians believe that anger is a trait of character and a person needs to be re-educated. But they are greatly mistaken. Therefore, until now, many people break the anger at each other and do not know what to do with it.

What is anger

Contrary to universal belief, anger is not a personality trait, but an emotion that is inherent in every person. There are a number of factors that provoke its appearance. The truth is that some can control it, while others do not. But why should the body have negative emotions that only harm. This is another misconception about anger.

The feeling of aggression occurs when the body is protected from external negative effects. Without anger, the human nervous system would not withstand such an influx of annoying factors that arise every day. And the more of them, the more aggressive the person seems.

Remember the case when you were angry, and what happened to your body at that moment. A person's pulse quickens in anger, body temperature rises, sweat is released and his mind is lost. So the body does not allow negative emotions to reach the brain and cause stress.

But if anger is so useful, then why control it? Besides the fact that it protects our body, in large quantities aggression becomes dangerous both for the person himself and for the people around him.

Causes of anger

The source of anger can be any situation that a person cannot control. But such cases occur often, why anger does not always manifest itself. The thing is that besides this, a number of certain factors are also needed that provoke a weakening of the nervous system.

Causes of anger include:

1. A person is affected by a disease that reduces the overall tone of the body and affects the immune system;
2. If a child in childhood did not receive enough warmth and care from his parents to grow up kind and open, then at an older age he would experience outbursts of anger;
3. Psychological traumas or severe disappointments that have occurred in the past also affect the frequency of aggressive spikes;
4. If a person since childhood has become accustomed to the manifestation of aggression by those around him, then it is difficult to imagine his calm and measured future. Therefore, never allow "let off steam" with children.

As you can see, the cause of anger often lies much deeper than we imagine. Therefore, it is sometimes impossible to do without the advice of an experienced psychologist. If a person notices an attack of aggression behind himself or someone close to him that cannot be controlled, do not delay the visit to a specialist.

What anger is dangerous

Despite the fact that anger is a protective function of the nervous system for misunderstanding and resentment, it can bring sad consequences. According to statistics, the majority of accidents, fights, family conflicts, murders happen in a rush of aggression.Many cases could have been avoided if we were able to take precedence over emotions.

What anger leads to:

1. Physical exhaustion. Scientists have found that chronic susceptibility to bursts of anger leads to diseases of the cardiovascular and immune system, diabetes, hypertension, mental disorders, and depression. No wonder there is a saying that all diseases are from the nerves.
2. Destruction career. Aggressive behavior towards colleagues will cause not only constant discontent of the authorities, but also dismissal. Today, in prestigious firms and companies in employees, stress resistance and ability to get out of conflict situations are primarily valued.
3. Loss of family and friends. If a person is often observed outbursts of anger, even the closest people can not stand. First of all, trust disappears, and then respect for people who cannot control themselves.

It is difficult to fight aggressive behavior, because a person himself may not be aware of the gravity of the situation. In this case, you need to openly talk to him about the problem and convince him that the help of a specialist is necessary.

Myths about anger

Anger can be controlled, but for this you need to learn a few truths. This knowledge will help to quickly reach the cherished goal and regain peace in the family, at work and in life.

Myths about anger:

1. Anger needs to be released, you can not keep it to yourself. In part, this statement is true, but you need to get rid of anger correctly so that it does not have an impact on others. Below you will read some tips on how to do this.
2. Anger can earn respect. Many believe that if they are afraid, they will achieve a lot in life. But this is not at all the case. Much more people deserve, if you respect others, and not used as a whipping pear.
3. Controlling anger is not possible. This can and must be learned. It only depends on the person whether he can overcome his anger or not.
4. To control anger is to suppress it. In fact, these are completely different things. In controlling emotions, it is important to direct them in the right direction without hitting anyone or insulting anyone. Suppression will lead to the same consequences as the lack of control.

In most cases, it is sufficient to carry out standard psychotherapy, including exercises that are advised by a psychologist. But for particularly emotional individuals, therapeutic therapy or hypnosis is applied.

How to learn to control anger

Psychologists recommend working in two directions: to control brain activity leading to outbursts of anger, as well as its physical manifestations. Thus, you can achieve great results and become a completely different person.

Emotional control:

1. Before letting go of anger, you need to present the situation from the outside. This will help to avoid rash actions.
2. Next, find the cause that caused the attack of anger. How important is it and is it worth it to spend your nerve cells on it?
3. If the cause was an unexpected situation, you need to find a way out and get rid of the problem.
4. If the reason is the behavior of another person, do not rush at him with accusations, you should listen to the arguments and argue your position in a calm tone. Sometimes you can solve the situation with a witty joke.
5. The visualization technique based on childhood memories helps a lot. It is necessary to be mentally in the place where there was a feeling of security.
6. Another technique is the “diary of anger.” In the notebook you need to write down every attack of aggression, which took place to be, as well as to describe in detail the causes and emotions. It is useful to periodically re-read and analyze it.
7. Having understood which situations most often cause anger, you need to learn how to avoid them. Conflict is better to prevent than to correct the consequences.

Physical control:

1. Feeling a surge of anger, you need to take 10 deep breaths. Next, you need to perform simple physical exercises, so the brain is distracted from the problem, and the situation will no longer be critical.
2. If there is an opportunity to change the situation (go outside, go to another room), you need to use it.
3. If there is no opportunity to go out, then it is better to concentrate on your body parts (legs, arms), alternately straining and relaxing them.
4. Once alone, you can vent the anger on an inanimate object (tear the paper, break the cup).
5. Controlling outbursts of anger will help fascination with knitting, embroidery and other hobbies that develop fine motor skills.

Anger can and should be controlled, it’s enough to have desire. Today, psychologists have studied this problem quite well and are ready to provide comprehensive answers to any questions. If there is no opportunity to visit a specialist, it is recommended to independently select suitable tips and follow them.