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Do you experience constant rudeness, sounding from the mouth of not very educated people, and do not know how to respond to unworthy behavior of outsiders? Learn how not to let someone else's aggression into your inner world, for this there are several effective methods. With their help, you can avoid the negatives received in the morning by public transport, at the place of service, in the queues of shops or in your own home.
What are the causes of human rudeness
If a person is rude and insults others with or without him, there are objective and subjective reasons for this, which, naturally, do not justify him, but will help you to understand the source of evil.
Hopelessness
“My nerves are on the edge” is a phrase familiar to everyone who has experienced extreme stress at work or in personal life. Think of a bus driver who was tortured by traffic jams, or a saleswoman, tired of endlessly smiling at every customer and sometimes enduring human stupidity.It also happens that a very difficult task in the deadline at work completely exhausts your strength.
Here at such moments, people often break down on the first counter, trying to compensate their exhausted energy with unconscious rudeness. In such a case, psychologists advise you not to respond with rudeness in response, often the person who insulted you brings an apology later, realizing that he was wrong.
Increase self-esteem
Some people, directing their rudeness to someone else’s address, experience a burst of energy while seeing the helplessness of an offended person. Thus, they assert themselves, having no other reason to respect themselves.
Most often this affects people endowed with real power in the family or at work. Having no other levers of influence, they try, humiliating others, to raise themselves. Offended subordinates have to put up for various reasons, it is somewhere akin to the subject - to beat the recumbent.
To attract attention
The roots of this cause of rudeness lie in the early childhood of man. In dysfunctional families, where the child is not paid attention, he has to attract others and defend his rights by personal aggression.Growing up, such a person, according to the established tradition, cannot communicate with people without rudeness, it triggers the habit of switching the attention to his own person.
How to respond to insults
The easiest way to suffer rudeness and insults are people who are strong in spirit and have high personal self-esteem. If a person loves himself, not to the detriment of others, it is very difficult to shake, catch and offend. Consider the most correct reaction to someone else's rudeness.
Do not take the blame
First of all, do not take into your account everything that flies from the mouth of an angry or aggressive person. Lacks of education or a spoiled mood lead to the phrases that he throws in your face, in fact, you are not present and are close in his speeches.
Remember, attackers are weak, weak-willed and are victims of their own obstinate nature.
Listen and be calm
Keep yourself in hand, not going on about shouting at your address, and even more so, not answering the same ugly words in response. If you behave firmly, confidently and in a balanced way, the person will choke on his own aggression.
Pretend that you are interested in the rude opinion of you, and with pleasure listen to his assumptions about your shortcomings. Nod and pretend that you agree and are ready to work on yourself. The abuser is just confused, and all his efforts will come to naught.
Roughness is returned by boomerang to its source, if it does not find the answer.
Give reasonable reasons.
Sometimes people grumbling and screaming at you, expecting a furious reaction in response, are lost if you start to make smart arguments, as opposed to their insults. Never say: “Himself like that!”. Better to say: "You're wrong, because ...". The interlocutor can listen and think again, if he is not a completely lost person, prudence will prevail over aggression.
In the case when the conflict is brewing with a close person, it is important to try to calmly analyze the situation, sort out the causes and consequences of the misunderstanding. In a family, all troubles must be resolved in this way, because relatives should be protected more than themselves.
Close your ears
This must be done, naturally, not literally, but figuratively. Imagine that you are in a house like a snail, you do not see anything and you do not hear.Let even the thunder open over your head, you will calmly wait out the storm, closing in on yourself. Your energy field will not allow outside hostility. Any offensive words are broken against the wall of silence and silence.
Step aside
If you are not in transport or in a queue, where you have nowhere to go, but you are confronted with an offender on the street or in one of the corridors at work, just turn around and go the other way. Thereby you save your own dignity, and “shut your mouth” to the abuser.
You can leave in a figurative sense, turn the conversation in a different direction. You can ask: "Listen, how did you spend your weekend?" Or "What happened to you that you were so angry?"
Sometimes sympathy for the rude makes him weak.
A couple of phrases to help you
So that you do not suffer from doubts about how to respond to rudeness, use one of the following phrases:
- Sorry, I'm in a hurry, are you done?
- You seemed kinder to me.
- You look bad in anger.
- Tell you the truth or answer?
- You don't really think like that!
- Calm down, everything will be fine with you too.
- Of course, sit down, because I'm younger (in transport).
- Thank you for your attention to me personally.
Remember your rights.In some cases, for insulting the honor and dignity of a person may incur criminal liability.
As you can see, there are plenty of ways to remain human in clashes with rude people who cause undeserved insults. Choose the most appropriate for your character. Be above the verbal dirt, it is badly washed off from the soul. Yes, by the way, sometimes a simple sincere smile works against slander!
Video: how to respond to insults
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