How to wean a child to lie: advice to parents

Children's lies at any age gives parents a lot of discomfort. Only now, often, they do not understand that they themselves, without noticing it, are pushing the child onto the path of lies.

How to wean a child to lie? First you need to understand the reasons. Why is he doing this? What goal wants to achieve? And only then begin to act.

Flight of fancy

Sometimes parents call lies a violent fantasy of a baby. Because it so exists in the imaginary world that it often confuses it with reality. And it scares relatives.

Example. A girl can play with imaginary toys, dolls. Not to be confused with the girlfriend invented! The boy shows his parents an imaginary fight with the dragon, and in his hands he does not even have a stick.

Instead of playing along, the parents sharply pull the child down - do not lie! And the child ceases to fantasize, in the understanding of adults - to lie.

Decision. This is the most innocuous kind of children's lies. You should not focus on it.Direct the unbridled imagination of the offspring in a useful direction. Draw, write fairy tales, engage in any kind of creativity. And along the way, explain to the child that instead of stories to everyone we know, we will write a story together. Or draw the plot of his fantasy.

Fear of punishment

When parents are constantly pulling the child, punished, threatened, then he begins to lie. Just get scared to get scared. Often, adults do not notice how a child is tyrannized. And they call it upbringing. The kid ceases to trust, begins to dodge, lie, even if caught red-handed.

Example. The child broke an expensive vase. To the mother's question: “Who did this?” Replies: “This is a cat.” And there were never any animals in the house.

Having taken a chocolate bar without demand and with a smeared face with a manic tenacity, it denies what it has done. He will stand his ground, in the hope that he will avoid another portion of abuse.

Decision. Stop scolding the child. Even when he did something bad, do not punish, but explain why it is bad. And it should be done as early as possible. That is, your adolescents will be useless to a teenager, if from the very young age you punish him without explanation.

Try to regain his confidence.For a son, you have to be first and foremost a friend, and only then a mom. Which is also a homemaker.

Hidden emotions

Of course, each of the parents wants to see their child always vigorous, cheerful and cheerful. Only here he is also a man, though still small. He gets tired, sad, angry as well as adults.

Example. Mommy took the boy from the kindergarten and drags his hand home. The kid does not want to go and whines: "I'm tired!". To which the parent replies: “How could you be tired, you played all day in the kindergarten. Stop whining! ”

The little dog is silent and smiles straining. And then he stops telling his parents the truth. If the situation does not change now, then in the future, even with the most terrible problems, he will tell his parents that he is doing well.

Output. Never limit your child to the expression of emotions. Of course, if it does not contradict a specific situation. Inadequate squeal in the store with the commanding tone of "Kupiii!" Does not count. Do not bother when the baby wants to be sad or tired. In other suitable moments, let him speak out, if necessary - help me find the words. The sooner your baby gets used to sharing his little troubles with you, the easier it will be for you to find a common language when he becomes a teenager.

Child's love and parents are actors

How often mother shakes her head theatrically and laments: “Ay-yi-yi! How you upset me! ”Then he grabs his heart, looking for valerian. And what did the child do? Nothing out of the ordinary. Everything is within the normal range of a developed baby. Only here mom doesn’t have enough desire to calm down a mischievous child in another way. So she arranges mini-performances. It is good that at least not by strangers.

Situation. The guests came, the horny agitated, begins to chase, rage, ceases to obey. After the departure of outsiders, the mother plays her trademark “deep faint” from the disorder over the behavior of the offspring.

The next time the child just lies to her. That he behaved well, that he listened to his grandmother, that he did not fight with his sister. After all, your beloved mommy can not be upset! How bad it is done.

Exit problems. Stop making picture scenes for your child. Children under 12 are extremely impressionable. Your concert can negatively affect the psyche of the child. In the future, he will lie not only to you, but also to his relatives, classmates, second half. And all just because of not being upset.

Complexes

Some parents do not fully understand that the child is just learning. At the slightest failure, instead of supporting, they criticize, set as an example other children. The child begins to consider himself inferior. His self-esteem goes down. And the banal lies begin to look better in the eyes of others.

Situation. The kid spent some time with his grandparents. On his return in colors describes his exploits and good behavior. Mum after conversation with the grandmother finds out, that the scion told the same fantastic incidents on a visit. And he behaved disgustingly.

Solution to the problem. Never compare your baby with others. He must always be sure that he is the most unique and beautiful for you. Even when misbehaving or lying. Stop criticizing the child, even if deservedly so. A careful analysis of flights in soothing colors, and now the kid himself strives to be better than others. After all, mommy is so proud of him, it means you really have to comply, and not invent stellar stories.

Inattention

The most incomprehensible type of lies, which cannot be called lies. Rather embellishment.But justified from the point of view of the child. Parents in the frantic rhythm of modern life are paying little attention to the child. Even in the evening, when the whole family is at home, he is left to himself. With him no time to play or talk, household chores.

Example. The little dog begins to lie. Only not to you, but to those around you. From a conversation with a teacher or teacher you will learn about your wonderful family, about the supposedly remarkable successes. And at the same time there are complaints of bad behavior, conflicts with peers begin. Imaginary living friends appear.

Exit problems. The child does not have enough parental attention. Spend more time together. If you do not tolerate domestic issues, solve them together. Wash the dishes - let the child wipe. He does not want to wipe, let him just stay nearby. Discuss his past day, ask about success. After play together, read. A child under 7 years of age does not need much.

As for the teenager, it's harder here. One mom had to learn to play his favorite computer shooter in order to find a common language with her son. But there was a topic for a general conversation. Further more. The woman did not like the music that her child listens to.But for the sake of her son, she honestly read the band’s biography and listened to several of her hits. Mom didn’t love this musical direction more, but when she started a conversation with her son on this subject - his eyes should have been seen! And now they do their homework together, simultaneously discussing new equipment in a shooter or a bad new clip.

And what about conflicts? They stopped. As soon as the offspring ceased at every turn to boast of its “beautiful” imaginary family, peers stopped bullying him. Before that, they only laughed at him, and he was angry.

And the need to lie no longer by itself. What for? If mom and so pays enough attention to the child. By the way, enough is not only to feed, clothe, shod. It is also moral attention, equal communication and the absence of omissions and secret grievances.

Key recommendations

1. Before you reproach a son for a lie, look at yourself. An ideal role model for parents is not always the right example. How many times have you lied to a child? Even the smallest deception will never escape the attention of the little man.And if you can lie, then why can not he?
2. It is possible that on the first attempt you will not be able to establish a lost psychological contact with your child. Do not give up, try again and again. Just do not break and do not swear if the child continues to lie. Show him your love over and over again. Talk about her. Explain that now a little upset to learn about his lies, but still love him. And again try to establish contact.
3. Offer your son a solution to his problems. Let him know that he will always find support and participation in you. If the baby starts sharing your fears or successes with you, then you are doing everything right.
4. Do not pull out of the baby by force of the promise to never lie again. And even more so, do not threaten punishment and all heavenly punishments. Pressure on pity is also a dirty trick. Remember how even the baby cuddled up to you and pitied mother's bo-bo? This pity of love for you will make him lie even more. And the promise to stop should be made on the initiative of the child himself and nothing more!
5. It is known that crime is better preventable. Start from a young age. Watch the relevant cartoons with the baby, read fairy tales, invent stories for him. Teach to tell the truth from childhood. And at the same time teach tactfully silent so as not to offend.After all, you did not lie, but simply kept silent. Just be sure to record the moments when it can be done, and when it is impossible.

How to wean a child to lie? To gain his trust, to give his attention and support. Love your baby. At any age and mood.

Video: what to do if the child is lying