The content of the article
In films and books, shyness looks extremely attractive, the young lady blushes, hides her eyes, thereby captivating the guy. It is important to understand that in real life everything is much more complicated. It is difficult for a girl to build a long-term relationship, because the constant search for flaws with her own appearance and demeanor makes her closed. We are not talking about light shyness, which is inherent in every lady, we are talking about excessive closeness and uncertainty.
Causes of shyness in front of a guy
It is known that parents to some extent cripple children. Some of them indulge, others, on the contrary, scold. Shyness begins in early childhood and enters adulthood with a person.
Try to remember, there were cases when your mother compared you to a classmate, saying that she studies better, attends music school and will achieve a lot in life,unlike you? It is precisely such actions that instill in the character of a little girl the fear of comparisons from native people. You have heard it so often that statements have become true for you, thereby lowering your self-esteem with each similar case.
Another example is the following: as a little girl, you must be screaming or making noise in public places (like all children). At this point, the parents began to shame you, they say, how shameful do people look at you. Such statements by the ancestors are firmly in the memory, guiding the future life. The child unconsciously begins to feel fear about what others think. But it is important to understand that you are no longer a little girl, by and large people do not care how you behave and what you wear.
As for other adults, such as a teacher or teacher, they also do not always possess a sense of tact. Often, teachers publicly speak about the illiteracy of their students, shame them in front of the team, making the child feel incompetent and inferior. This is where shyness and insecurity in one's own strength emerges, a person ceases to be a person to the full, individuality is lost.
If we talk about peers, they are ruthless.Schoolchildren, children from a neighboring yard or a creative group constantly mock a person who does not look like them. Perhaps you had freckles on your nose or puffy cheeks, which caused various nicknames. It is not uncommon for a girl to grow up and still remember all the teasing and insults regarding appearance, physique or mental abilities. Understand, not everything that people say is true.
Signs of shyness
- Shy girls often sweat, fear loudly and constantly blush. Their heart beats fast, movements become sharp and illogical, provoking awkward moments.
- Shy ladies do not look in the eyes of the interlocutor, their thoughts are completely focused on imaginary wrong actions or expressions. Girls fall into a stupor when talking with the opposite sex, trying to understand what thoughts about them fly by the guys in the head.
- In addition to the above, attentiveness is greatly reduced. Ladies are constantly losing the essence of the conversation, their brain is working in slow mode, the memory becomes shorter. Girls quickly lose interest in what is happening.
How to stop shy guy
Step number 1. Show emotions. Communicating with the young man, do not hesitate to speak out frankly. Do you hold your breath and sweat your palms when he looks like that? Report it. Believe me, no guy will remain indifferent, having heard such words. He will not accept this as a flaw, the young man will seem such a sweet behavior.
Step number 2. Get exercise. Sports activities help release endorphins, which reduce stress, causing awkward moments to disappear. Sign up for a gym or dance, visit a trial lesson in stretching, pilates or kickboxing. Modern studios offer a lot of opportunities for a reasonable price. With the help of physical exertion, you will not only gain confidence, but also tighten the body, pump up the press, and stop being ashamed of intimate intimacy.
Step number 3. Watch your appearance. Neat girls are less shy, they are confident in their beauty and well-groomed appearance. Attend a manicure and pedicure master several times a month, shear the split hair and tint the regrown roots. Do not save on your own beauty.Shy ladies do not go to salons, they prefer to stay in the shade and be unremarkable. You can do it radically, repainted in a different color and changing the length of the hair.
Step number 4. Take the initiative. Guys quickly get tired of the routine, they get bored with shy girls. To avoid this, become an initiative lady. Invite the young man to the cinema or organize a picnic in nature, go ice skating, take a walk through the park. An important feature of this step is the complete elimination of situations that can put you in an awkward position. Decide in advance on make-up, hair-do, choose beautiful and suitable clothes, think over topics for conversations.
Step number 5. Learn all about intimate life. The guy and the girl sooner or later begin to have sex. In order not to experience shyness in bed, find out all about intimate life. On the Internet a lot of information, if this is not enough for you, visit the library or chat with experienced friends. Watch related films, learn poses or look through magazines for girls.Information is power, you need to prepare for such an event in advance in order to overcome embarrassment.
Step number 6. Take a joint business. Invite a guy to sign up for Latin American dances, salsa, tango or other directions to choose from. This art completely eliminates all the complexes, since you work in pairs. At first it can be difficult and embarrassing, but after 2 weeks you will forget what shyness is.
Step number 7. Be interested in the life of a guy. Learn the hobbies and main hobbies of the young man, try to get into the details in order to skillfully support the conversation. For greater effectiveness, ask your friends, brothers, sisters or parents about your favorite books and sports. When you are up to date, you will automatically avoid awkward pauses in a conversation because of your own ignorance. The conversation will go easily and naturally, and shyness will step aside.
Step number 8. Meet the family guy. You will no longer be shy at the moment when you get acquainted with the close people of the young man. If he has a brother or sister, invite them to sit together in a cafe, go to the movies or just take a walk.More courageous ladies are advised to get acquainted with the parents of the beau, in order to learn from the mother about his quirks and tastes in food. You will feel much more confident when you cook your favorite concoction. The method is suitable only for girls who are well wielded by kitchen utensils.
Step number 9. Take care of self-development. Try to find a little time for your own development, both spiritual and material. Have you long wanted to attend visage courses and work by profession? Dare! Does not this direction fit? Take up drawing with an experienced teacher, sign up for piano courses, start learning a foreign language. Shyness will recede as soon as you move from a dead center and begin to improve your skills.
Step number 10. Visit psychological training. Personal growth courses will help girls living in big cities to get rid of their shyness. Experienced professionals will make you a confident person, tell you what to look for in a particular situation. There are trainings designed not for one lesson, but for a whole course. At the end of the last lesson, you will exit the building with a completely different person.An alternative to training is a session with a psychologist, but the cost per visit is much higher.
Shy guy? Stop it! Analyze your own childhood, exclude from adult life complexes inspired by parents. Regularly visit the beauty salon, watch your appearance. Morally prepare for intimacy, cultivate, go on courses of personal growth.
Video: how not to be shy guy
To send