How to survive parting with your loved one

Parting with your loved one is the strongest emotional test for everyone. Especially if the relationship was long and hoped for them. Perhaps you were planning a joint future with this person, were strongly attached psychologically. And in one moment everything collapsed. How to survive this difficult period of life? How to stand up after such a blow and want to live again? How much time must pass to re-learn to believe the opposite sex, and be able to build a new healthy relationship? We will try to understand everything in order.

Step 1. Acceptance and awareness of what happened.

Most often, people break up because someone from a couple made this decision. In other cases, the separation is not justified. No living conditions, temporary separation and other reasons can not separate two loving people if they really love.

If one person in a pair has decided to leave, they are going through both. But more emotional shock is experienced by the one who was abandoned. The person who decided to part, walked slowly towards this, day after day realizing the correctness of his decision. And the person who was faced with the fact was poured with cold water in a tub. He feels pain, misunderstanding, anger, guilt, offense, love.

If you are abandoned, try to understand and accept it. If you love your partner a little bit, leave him the right to make that decision. Do not cling to the infinite hope of returning it. Certainly, perhaps in time, you will change and meet again. Perhaps you, having changed, will be able to build new full-fledged relationships. But now, there is no way back. Do not humiliate yourself with requests and pleas to return. Maintain self-esteem. If this person does not want to be with you, if he did not understand and did not see your soul, why do you need him? Let him go. If this happens, then a higher power protects you for a more worthy person.

Accept what happened and find the strength to go on. Let the decision taken by your partner be his biggest mistake.And it is in your power to gather strength and step forward along your life path. With head held high.

Step 2. How not to engage in samoing

After parting with a loved one, most people start to torment themselves with thoughts: “I’m to blame for everything, if I hadn’t done that, he wouldn’t leave me alone”, “Nobody will love me anymore”, “I will not experience such love”, “ I will not marry and not give birth to children, I will not have a family and a loved one, nobody needs me. ” All these thoughts are greatly exaggerated and there is not even a hundredth part of the truth in them.

Usually such obsessive thoughts are born in young heads, which are 14-17 years old. Young people are subject to youthful maximalism, and it seems to them that this relationship is the main event in their lives. Believe, in your life there will be more than one such unfinished story. And after a series of failures, when you learn to appreciate the main thing, you will meet the person of your life.

Do not believe it? Look at yourself in the mirror. You certainly have a beautiful figure, a pretty face, clear skin, beautiful hair, a kind soul. Or maybe you cook deliciously or play the violin? Well, do you really have no merits for which you could be evaluated? Take a sober look at yourself. You have something to love.And let the opposite sex line up to deserve your attention. Be sure, you will find your happiness, and the present moment you just have to go through.

Step 3. Release the situation and forgive the person.

Anger, aggression and resentment destroy a person. If you practice samoing, it will not lead to anything good. From bad emotions, people get sick and grow old, do you need it?

Forgive your former partner. Let all his past actions were terrible, let him have been treason, deceit and drunkenness - let him go. If everything was so bad, thank the fate for taking you away from this person and letting you live a full life. Mentally thank the person for all the good that was between you, forgive and release him in peace.

It happens that many women, digging into the causes of the incident, consider only themselves to blame. He cheated, because I was not good enough and sexy with him, cheated, because I didn’t want to disturb me, I drank, because he needed to relax after a hard day’s work. Take a sober look at things.Why are you justifying it? Remember the feelings you had when he was drunk and tumbled into your home. Remember how you felt when you found out that he was with another woman. Do you want to repeat these feelings ?! In no case! Do not blame yourself. A decent guy will love his girlfriend, even if she is shaggy in home clothes. The real unity of souls takes place on an emotional level. And if you did not have such a connection, do not blame yourself. Thank the higher powers for giving you another chance for happiness.

Step 4. Distract

This is the most difficult step that needs to be done, at least through force. Give yourself a few days to "grieve." If you do not, emotions one day just spill out. Give yourself a few days to recover, cry, shout. Do whatever you want these days. However, when the days of "mourning" will pass, try to pull yourself together and distract from the situation.

1. Work, study. Depending on the main field of activity, try to immerse yourself in study or work. Set yourself a goal - to fully support yourself, if you have children - to put them on their feet, buy a car or an apartment. Light up this dream and put everything on its implementation.Intensive work or study will distract you from unpleasant thoughts and help you forget.
2. Friends. With the advent of relationships, many people lose touch with their friends, family members, loved ones. Perhaps it is time to return a warm relationship? Meet friends again, go shopping with your family and go to the cinema, dedicate time to younger brothers and sisters. Understand that there are many people in the world who still love and appreciate you.
3. Sport. Everyone knows that physical activity can get rid of unnecessary thoughts. Play sports - it will not only distract you from suffering, but also tighten your figure. Intensive exercise allows the body to produce hormones of joy and satisfaction. If you can not go to sports clubs or fitness, just run, walk. Only in this case it is not necessary to allow obsessive thoughts to overcome you. Take a walk or jog headphones with invigorating music - it will lift your spirits. And doing strength exercises in the gym will help to literally splash out all your offense and bitterness with physical strength.
4. Hobbies. Think about what you did not have enough time during the relationship.Perhaps you have long wanted to read some book, start painting or swimming, learn to drive a car. If your former partner did not support you in your endeavors, support yourself when there are no more restrictions in the form of a disgruntled look or prohibition.
5. Look for positive points. "A blessing in disguise" - says the famous proverb. If you are left without a partner, this does not mean that you are left alone. Perhaps this is just freedom? Look for advantages in all the events of your life. Remember what you couldn’t do when you had a loved one? Perhaps he did not approve of your late meetings with friends or forbade you to be in male companies? Live freely, visit male striptease with friends, flirt with men. Feel again that you are desired, charming and beautiful.
6. Wedge wedge. Of course, it is not necessary to plunge into a new relationship on the very first day after parting. But flirting and easy passion will certainly benefit you. Learn to re-look at men, flirt, play, live!

These simple tips will help you get a little distracted.And try to fill your temporary space as much as possible so that you do not have time to think, drool, snot and tears. Learn languages, improve your body, travel. Not a moment's peace!

Step 5. Do not dwell

This is a very important step, which does not allow many to step over this grief and leaves people in limbo. Throw out or distribute all the items and gifts that remind you of your former partner. If you feel sorry for throwing, for example, gold jewelry, sell them, and with the money, buy something you need, for example, a punching bag! Without a doubt, you will thrash her with pleasure!

No matter how difficult, remove all the tearful songs that remind you of "about him." At least for some time, stop watching the pitiful melodramas about love - you will certainly draw parallels. You should not keep general photos, you do not need to visit those places that were considered "yours". Turn this page of your life and start living again!

Life is a zebra. An endless series of good and bad life moments. If a separation happened to you, it means it was necessary.So life is ready to give you an even more valuable and expensive gift. They say that if happiness is big, it means that it goes in small steps. Wait a little, very soon it will lie to you. The main thing is not to be sad and live on!

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