How to survive a divorce from her husband: the advice of a psychologist

Not all married couples clearly adhere to the oath, wanting to be together in grief and joy. Unfortunately, many modern marriages break up for various reasons. Infidelity, complexity of characters, problems in monetary terms - this and much more can lead to a rupture. If you are currently experiencing a divorce, you probably consider this period the most difficult time in life. Let's look at the psychological aspects that will lead to the white line.

Why do women experience divorce more difficult

Girls, by their nature, are extremely emotional, quickly becoming attached to circumstances, family life, cozy conversations and get-togethers in the evenings with their spouse.The association of the "ideal family" is difficult to get out of my head When a woman is at the stage of divorce, she cannot get used to the fact that she no longer has anyone to iron, cook, wash, or wait for work.

On this basis, an absolutely new image of being, as an independent and independent person, is being formed. The situation is complicated if the lady in marriage is completely dependent on the partner in material terms.

Few people admit that amid the mental imbalance, they are collapsing with paying bills and buying products. Divorce is especially hard to survive if the couple already have children, since the child stays with the mother. It is necessary to feed, dress and create other benefits for a full existence.

All friends and relatives who partially loved and supported the ex-husband turn away. It is not excluded misunderstanding on their part. Like, such a caring and kind man left. Pressure leads to the development of depression, because there is simply no one to speak out.

It is extremely difficult for women who have devoted all the time to family relationships and literally lived with their spouse. Sincere love leads to depression in the process of divorce.For most women, a husband is not only a breadwinner and breadwinner, but also a prop, a friend, a lover.

Experienced psychologists have figured out why women have a harder time divorcing. Among the influential aspects are the lack of money, the lack of career prospects (because she was sitting at home and raising children, stroking, washing, cleaning), self-maintenance of the child and taking care of him, unwillingness to build a new family.

Step number 1. Get rid of negative feelings and thoughts

1. The most difficult are the first days after the divorce, when an official paper on the new status was received. A woman falls asleep at night with thoughts of how unpleasant and disgusting she is to her ex-husband.
2. If you are angry, learn to abstract. In the first couple of days do not stay alone, invite a girlfriend to sleep. The same goes for daytime, find a hobby.
3. Do not keep emotions, express everything that boiled during the marriage. Write negative thoughts on a piece of paper to let them go. Cry in the shoulder of mom or girlfriend.

Step number 2. Spend time with friends

1. After a divorce, a woman does not feel as strong as before.She needs the support that the spouse has provided in earlier times. But now he is gone, so find a vest in another face.
2. Attend entertainment events, bowling, cinema. Take the habit of eating pizza on Sundays, gathering with loved ones.

Step number 3. Get rid of old stuff

1. After the rupture, it is necessary to minimize the impact of psychological factors on the nervous system. Get rid of all the little things acquired together, things and souvenirs.
2. Do not regret anything and throw away the product. Do not give things the opportunity to remind of the former husband. You can give all the junk to charity. After a relatively difficult step, you will feel relieved.

Step number 4. Go on a trip

1. To unwind and say goodbye to annoying thoughts, you need to go on a trip. Think of the wonderful feelings and emotions after a successful trip. If problems with finances, you can relax on a burning trip.
2. Try to visit another country or a beautiful city. New places give an unforgettable experience. Thoughts become clear and positive.Do not bother with problems, they are in the past. Live on, everything is just beginning.

Step number 5. Make repairs in the apartment

1. To make a divorce easier to experience, psychologists recommend giving up all your free time to repair. New environment will allow you to forget the old experiences. If you live in a rented apartment, it is better to move.
2. In other cases, give vent to fantasy. Get the wallpaper you have always dreamed of. Pick the appropriate curtains, get rid of old furniture and buy new ones. Do not be scared of costs, everything will be rewarded. Perform a rearrangement and general cleaning.

Step number 6. Change your style

1. Try to completely change the image that was before the divorce. Choose a suitable haircut, start going to the gym and solarium. New looks will give you more confidence and attractiveness.
2. Do not assume that the time of divorce is a terrible period. On the contrary, you have an extra minute for yourself. Arrange global shopping, try to dress in an unusual style for you.

Step number 7. Get a pet

1. If you have not had any children or pets in your relationship with your husband, you can depress your evening pastime alone. In this case, it is recommended to acquire a pet.Know the animal will not betray you.
2. Do a good deed, pick up a yard animal or visit a shelter and pick up a puppy, a kitten. Positive actions positively affect the psyche and help to overcome any difficulties.

Step number 8. Tune in to positive and new relationships

1. At the time of the breakdown of relationships and experiences about divorce, do not tune in to depression. Do not dwell on the fact that you can not love more, it is not. Most divorced women have long avoided new relationships for fear of repeated betrayal.
2. Try to step over yourself and leave negative emotions behind. The main reasons for the divorce is that people simply do not match each other. Believe me, after meeting with “my” person, the world will play with new colors. You look at the relationship and be truly happy.
3. “Your” person will make the relationship happy, complete harmony and mutual understanding will come. A man will appreciate you, share plans for life and addiction. For such a person you need to keep, however, the satellite itself does not want to lose their own soul. Relationships will move to a new level, which was not familiar to you before.
4. Do not rush to purposefully search for your ideal after a divorce. In most cases, such an event occurs suddenly. You will feel attracted to each other, do not worry. Sometimes it can take a lot of time to find a person.
5. Do not try with the help of another man to forget about old feelings. First, lower everything yourself and then start new acquaintances and communication. Do not rush and do not be frivolous. Live some time for yourself, develop. Try to change the world view in a more positive way.
6. Sometimes allow yourself to flirt. Feel that you are again attractive and interesting to the opposite sex. Do not rush to the neck of the first oncoming man who liked. Before starting a new relationship, you must completely change inside.
7. Analyze the situation after a failed marriage, try to change all the disadvantages in yourself. Do not be afraid to carry out self-examination. Only strong people are capable of such an action, you should not feel sorry for yourself. A bad marriage could have been your fault. Recall that contributed to the divorce. Become wiser.

How to alleviate the condition of the child

It was already mentioned earlier that a child complicates the task considerably. Of course, not in a bad way. The mother wants the best for the children, so in every way she tries to make the divorce minimally affect the baby or not touch it at all. If you have ended a relationship with a former spouse with a scandal, you need to smooth the pressure on the child's psyche.

To do this, talk to the child and try to clearly explain to him that mom and dad have diverged. Explain the true causes of the gap accessible language brain of the child. No need to put the father of the family in black, so as not to tune the child against him. Make it clear to the baby that, even living at a distance, the father will visit and love him.

The next thing to do is to talk to your ex-husband. Put all the dots on “i”, do not forbid papa to see the baby. It is important to understand that, despite all the differences between adults, children are not to blame. If it will be easier for you, write a schedule, on which day the father will be able to take the child for a walk or to see himself under your supervision. Children will not feel guilty if their parents go to a conditional world for their sake.

Never manipulate children, wanting to save a marriage.Not a single man has been able to keep the child for a long time. Sooner or later, the partner will wither with you because of a lack of love, a spark or other aspects. If you manipulate the child, in the end, it will lead to constant quarrels in the eyes of the child. Do you need it?

Find the strength to forgive your ex-husband for any “sins” he has committed. In some women, there is an insult that does not dissolve even in time (3,5,10 years). You should not be on them, know how to let go of the past, only then a happy present and future awaits you.

Video: how to survive a divorce