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A child is not only joy and endless happiness, but also a permanent job. And not so much physical, although it takes a lot of time as emotional, psychological, educational. Often, young parents, fearing the cry of the baby, trying to reassure him, go on about and teach newborns to something from which it is rather difficult to wean. For example, sleep in the parent's bed. Let's try today to deal with this issue.
Where to put a newborn baby
Many doctors advise initially to accustom the baby to his own sleeping place, separate from his mother and father. Like, so comfortable and newly minted parents, and a little man. However, in practice, this is absolutely not the case. The baby begins to be capricious, crying even in a comfortable cradle, not that in a huge crib for him, and most often the mother, yielding to his cries, takes the baby to herself.Now let's look at this situation from all sides.
First, we analyze the behavior of parents. Of course, a small child is very hard, it is a big load and an abrupt change in lifestyle. But there is one more thing: only the internal structure of the family changes, and on the external level everything remains the same. Father also needs to go to work, mothers - to bother about household chores, even despite chronic lack of sleep. As soon as the parents notice that the baby sleeps with them, and the nights pass much more calmly, they decide not to put the baby in a separate bed. At some stage, perhaps this is correct.
Now we will look from the child. Though he is small, he is already human. And, contrary to popular belief, he lives not only by instincts, but also by reason. Many psychologists believe that the smaller the child, the more skillful he is able to manipulate his parents. This is understandable: the baby needs to survive. His knowledge is still very small, but at the same time he also wants maximum comfort, like any adult. Sleeping next to mom, near a warm chest, from which you can always get food - great! Therefore, the reaction when the baby is transferred to a separate bed is quite understandable: he will start screaming, thereby expressing his displeasure.And all the parents will take the baby back. The goal is reached, the conclusion is made: it is necessary to shout, and everything will work out.
The cry of a small child is not only caused by physical discomfort, hunger or pain. It is also an attempt to express their dissatisfaction, one of the minimum means of social communication available to the newborn. And often the parents, not understanding this, go on about, thereby developing more capricious behavior from the cradle of the child.
What then to do? Do not pay attention to the cry? Well, let's understand this.
Teach your baby to sleep in his crib correctly.
In fact, the fact that a newborn sleeps with his parents is not a big deal, but only in those cases if:
- It helps to sleep well for the whole family;
- It is comfortable not only for the child, but also for the parents;
- This does not interfere with the intimate life of a young couple;
- It is really necessary, and not a whim.
The fact is that many newly-made moms are completely given to their baby, forgetting that there is also a father in the family, and he also needs attention. Such a self-sacrifice in favor of the newborn is wrong; it can destroy relationships.Going in the wake of this feeling, many mothers take the baby to bed, even if he does not need it. After all, not all children prefer to sleep with their parents. There are also such kids who are quite comfortable in their own bed. But it seems to mother that it is not so, the baby is lonely in her cradle, and she takes her son or daughter to bed. And then does not know how to wean from this. Therefore, the number one rule - be guided by common sense. Do not take the child into an adult bed if he does not need it.
But what if everything has already happened, and now there is a need for weaning? How to do it right and not to injure the psyche of a little man? In fact, everything is not so difficult.
Moment one: when to wean
While the child is small, usually his stay in the parental bed does not cause any strong discomfort. And the need to teach your own bed does not arise. But the child grew up, and such a question appeared. As a rule, this happens closer to three years, when an understanding begins to form in a young person and his mind matures. But in general, be guided by your own child.Many babies are already about a year and a half ready to leave the parent bed on their own. You just need to understand that this moment has come.
Great if you have older kids. Then the bed of the grown-up baby, who is already weaned off and learned to sleep all night, can be transferred to the nursery. Together, the children sleep very well, and for the smallest member of the family there will be no problem getting used to sleeping with sisters or little brothers. You can even beat this transition so that your baby has already become so big that it can also sleep in its crib, like the older children. In such cases, as a rule, there are no special problems with schooling to separate from the parents of rest.
It is more difficult if the baby is the only one in the family, and he really has to get away from his parents and learn how to sleep alone. This, of course, is more traumatic for a child who is already accustomed to spend the night with his mom and dad. Another tip: start weaning only after the baby is completely weaned. First, teach him to sleep all night, without requiring any nipples or nutrition. And only then transfer to a separate bed.
The second moment: tricks and tricks
Of course, if you just say: “Everything, from this day you are already big and you can sleep alone” and put your son or daughter in his own bed, nothing good will come of this approach. At a minimum, indignation is guaranteed. As a maximum - hysterics and the complete rejection of a separate sleep for a long time. Here it is necessary to act slyly, subtly and at the same time persistently.
Here are a few basic techniques to help get through this difficult stage as quickly as possible and with minimal losses:
- Do not move immediately to a separate bed. Now on the market there are many models that have one side wall removed. Remove her, put the bed close to your bed. In this case, the child’s bed will become a continuation of your bed, but at the same time it will already be in a separate bed. Gradually, you can increase the distance and put on the removed wall.
- Communication is a very important part of the process. Explain to the child that he has already become big enough to start sleeping separately. Moreover, conduct preparatory work in several stages. First, just tell your son or daughter,that only very young children sleep with their mothers, and the big ones are supposed to rest in their own cot. Remember that talking about adulthood bribes any child. You can start looking after the future sleeper with him. Describe the benefits of individual sleep. The next stage is the purchase of a new crib and a practical assessment of all its advantages. Paint the baby how cool it is to relax in such a cool place! Choose a beautiful linen, cozy, put a new bed, beautifully decorate it. Conversations will greatly help in this matter.
- Use rituals and special items. Children are very susceptible to constantly repetitive actions. Develop your own, special custom of sleeping. For example, the mandatory reading of a bedtime story and a kiss after it. For the first time, you can turn on a night light in the room with a soft light. First, it makes the room more comfortable. Secondly, the child will not be scared and uncomfortable. Thirdly, if the baby needs to get up at night, for example, on the pot, he will have lighting, and he will not have to call you.
To teach a child to sleep in a separate bed is not so difficult as it seems at first glance.You just need to understand and feel your baby, and also show a little ingenuity to turn the process into a fun and exciting action. Rely on your own parental instinct, ingenuity, knowledge and trusting communication, and then you all must succeed! And how nice it will be that at last you can sleep together without fear of waking the child. And, believe me, the baby in his own bed will also be much more comfortable and quieter!
Video: how to teach a child to sleep in his crib
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