The content of the article
Unrequited love is a problem that is familiar to both men and women of all ages. You can be divinely beautiful, brilliant and rich, but even high status will not save you from this feeling. It burns from the inside, interferes with work and sleep. Turns life into a nightmare from which there is no escape. Psychologists strongly advise not to close in their inner world, engaging in self-destruction, but to fight against unrequited love with all available methods.
No memories - no man.
We'll have to gather the will into a fist, and throw things out of your apartment, which are associated with the cause of suffering. Send a cup from which he drank coffee in the morning, burn a T-shirt and not turn it into a floorcloth. Delete the number from the phone book, move the combined photos to the recycle bin.
Do not watch films that were laughed at or cried together. Do not listen to music associated with the first dance, kiss or declaration of love. The man is gone, so the memories must go after him.
Advice: If love has died, it is foolish to live with illusions about its resurrection, or to try to evoke the spirit of past times. If mutual feelings never existed, do not tease yourself with vain hopes.
Do not call me
The hand is constantly reaching for the computer to enter its page on social networks. There, next to the former lover, there is a new passion, which throws songs on the wall, and leaves comments with hearts and kisses. A half-hour tantrum is guaranteed, plus a protracted depression that threatens to turn into alcoholism.
Stop doing masochism! Time to leave a person alone, and allow yourself to gradually return to normal life. It will hurt to start from scratch, but it's worth it. It is necessary to remove it from friends in all social networks, and even better to have courage, and destroy their pages. Do not spare a bunch of photos, a selection of music and other meaningless little things.
Do not call after an extra cocktail to a person who has never loved, or suddenly stopped experiencing tender feelings. Do not write messages, and, most importantly, never leave sad posts, depressive pictures on social networks, or, on the contrary, try to show how it became good after he left.
Tip: You need to live for yourself, not to prove something to the former. If a person has never loved, or suddenly cooled, he is not guilty. It is necessary to forgive him for the sake of his own happiness, and not try to forcibly take a seat next to him.
Healthy egoism
Mothers love to repeat with enviable regularity to little girls: “Honey, you can’t take care of yourself exclusively. You need to think about others. You do not want to become selfish? ” Girls grow up, and, following parental advice, completely devote themselves to the beloved, or persistently search for an object for worship. And losing, feel confused, broken, and suffer from unrequited love.
In fact, healthy egoism is good. Perfectly. The only person on the planet who deserves loyal and all-consuming love is ourselves. You need to realize this truth, and allow yourself not to be sad about lost illusions that could never come true.
How to forget a man who does not love? Get rid of the tender feelings for him? Find a new object for worship - yourself. Care for your own body. Give yourself nice clothes and healthy food. Praise for big and small achievements.
Important: Being selfish is not scary and not bad, it is much worse to turn into a depressive person without the right to a happy relationship in the near or distant future.
Never miss
The second half takes a lot of time that can be spent on self-development, promotion along the career ladder or exploring your own inner world. When a man decides to forget his beloved, he needs to switch his attention to something more interesting:
- Sign up for a course in Spanish or Latin that you always wanted to learn.
- Try yourself in the role of an artist or musician, master the game of drums or guitar.
- Go to karate to throw out the pain and aggression on the training pear.
- You can even open your own business, the development of which will take away strength and energy, so that the brain would have no time to think about a former lover.
Tip: Someone helps creativity or a change of scenery, others prefer to become volunteers or careerists. You need to find a profession or a hobby that delays and gives a lot of positive emotions.
Seize the opportunity
Closing in his own pain and suffering, a person pushes others away, tries to avoid communication, is afraid to build relationships. No need to listen to the advice to knock out the old wedge new. Usually such attempts do not lead to anything good. On the other hand, for emotional discharge it is useful to go out to people:
- Spend the evening in the company of old friends.
- Agree to meet a pretty stranger who invited to the cafe.
- Chat with parents, visit grandma or grandpa.
- Buy theater tickets, or a concert of your favorite band.
- Flirt with someone in chat or social networks.
Being in constant motion, you can gradually get rid of the gnawing feelings of loneliness and resentment. Of course, you do not need to force yourself to have fun in a nightclub, or to marry a childhood friend with anger. But it is useful to at least try to leave the cozy mink, and communicate with real people, and not with an insulted and depressive inner voice.
Tip: Some people, desperate to get rid of thoughts of their beloved, begin to attend nightclubs to fill their grief with alcohol, and have sex with a stranger in a public restroom. Alcohol abuse and indiscriminate sex will not save you from pain, but can cause serious health problems and moral devastation.
Emergency release
In psychology, there is an interesting method that helps get rid of unrequited love in a matter of days, maximum - a week. You need a notebook or notebook, a regular pen plus some free time.
- It is necessary to be frank and honest with yourself, not to hide feelings, not to be afraid of fantasies.
- Write what emotions a former lover causes, and why. You can not limit yourself to two lines, a minimum of 3-4 sheets in great detail. You can create a kind of dialogue on behalf of a logical mind and a heart in love.
- After finishing the conversation, put the notebook in a box for a couple of days.
- Get, and write on a clean sheet, what features should be in the perfect second half. For example, he has blue eyes and he definitely hates spinach.
- Describe in detail the flaws of the person who left or did not want to be around. Recall everything: from a bump in the nose and a terrible pimple on the forehead to stinginess and callousness, unwillingness to work, or the bad habit of throwing socks around the apartment.
- Include logic, and ask yourself: “Why do I need to constantly clean up dirty panties for someone, and close my eyes during sex so as not to notice this disgusting acne? Maybe you should thank him for leaving and giving him the opportunity to find true happiness? ”
Tip: Bad habits and character flaws do not disappear with time, but only worsened. If yesterday he did not want to give flowers, because it is too expensive, after a few years he will spare money for the treatment of his beloved.
Psychologists offer to imagine what will have to sacrifice for the sake of such a relationship, and what can be achieved by getting rid of this burden. In 9 cases out of 10, several trainings are enough to realize that everything happened for the better, and there is no need to spread snot over the face.
Rituals and no magic
You can come up with your own ritual of getting rid of the past: burn things in a garbage can, write a stack of letters, and drown them in a river.Arrange an improvised sabbath with your friends with alcohol, dancing and spells of own production. The main thing is that the brain should understand that after certain manipulations, it is necessary to discard the old rubbish from the head, and make room for a new life.
Shaking off the power of a person who does not love you is much easier than some people who are prone to masochism think. It is necessary to understand that sometimes feelings fade away, and there is nothing left but to devote your free time to your own person, and gradually learn how to rejoice in trifles. A woman who has gotten rid of old love is entitled to a new, lasting and happy relationship, but this is a completely different story.
To send