How to stop loving a married man: advice from a psychologist

If dreams have shattered about the harsh reality, and you are no longer with your beloved, you should think about how to get rid of negative thoughts. You should not drive and reflect on the fact that everything is over. Remember, you are young, there are a lot of good and free men around. No more trying on the role of a mistress.

Step number 1. Set yourself up for a break

1. Carefully analyze the behavior and character of men. Try to find its negative side. You may not be able to do this at first, because you are deeply in love. But looking at things differently, you will be able to set yourself up for a break.
2. Now reincarnate in the "skin" of his wife. How uncomfortable she is to know that her husband is constantly going to the left. How hard it is to accept the existence of a third person in a relationship.It is likely that you, too, will bore a man, and he will jump over to one more passion. Do you need it?
3. Find the strength to get mad at your lover. Remember all the moments when he promised to come, but did not come. How long have you been tormented by the words "I will divorce." As constantly told about the omissions with his wife. Why do you need to play a supporting role, knowing that this man is a stranger.
4. Remove, finally, rose-colored glasses. Take a look in the face. Understand that a lover is with you, because he is so comfortable. Wife feeds, washes, strokes, lover satisfies. The man who changed his half does not deserve your love.
5. Think of your union in terms of religion (for believers). In any book of such writing, treason is condemned and punished. Do not blame yourself for the love of him, mentally ask for forgiveness from his wife and tune in to break with her husband.

Step number 2. Part with a man

1. For a start, rate yourself. Why did you choose a man who already has a wife? Is he financially independent, good in bed, an adult? Perhaps, but there is such a plan for men who are not engaged in other women. Do not try to raise your self-esteem by stealing a companion from his wife.
2. A married man who is in connection with his mistress is not in a hurry to break the bond.You have to do it yourself. Talk to him, share your thoughts. Say that you no longer wish to play a supporting role.
3. Eliminate tears, hugs and other tenderness. Speak clearly and confidently, do not hesitate to doubt and succumb to his persuasion to stay. Understand that he will feed you "breakfast" for a long time. We need to put an end to this.
4. Do not offer to remain friends and do not accept such an offer from him. If you constantly see this person in front of you, it will be difficult to stop loving him. Put a point once and for all.

Step number 3. Burn all the bridges

1. Experienced psychologists in the field of human relationships will say that you can stop loving a married man, but only forgetting about him. Burn bridges, do not look back, exclude any opportunity to meet again.
2. Often married women continue to seek a meeting with the former mistress, in order to feel again her tenderness and other perspectives that she can give. Appreciate yourself, do not succumb to the persuasion of joint pastime.
3. If you and your lover have mutual friends, if possible, limit communication with them for the first time.When the pain subsides, you can resume communication. But in any case, do not discuss the affairs of a married woman. Try not to talk about him at all, avoid such conversations.
4. Do not try to get revenge by finding a new man and advertising your relationship in public. It is important to understand that in this case it is necessary to first find peace of mind, and only then build a new relationship.
5. Give up blackmail, an idea about which can scroll through your head. If you are planning to blackmail an ex-lover with joint shots, trying to destroy his family, reconsider your moral values.

Step number 4. Exclude all contacts

1. If possible, you should exclude all meetings with the person for whom you have feelings. If it is necessary to change work because of this, decide on a similar step or try to understand yourself. At every meeting, suffering and flashes of feelings are inevitable.
2. Get rid of all sorts of reminders about your relationship. Throw away gifts, delete all contacts, including in social networks. Stop chatting with your beloved friends. Clear your phone from messages and photos.Thus, thoughts about a man will gradually fade away.
3. Change the direction of your thoughts. When you first try to think about past relationships, immediately try to distract. Stop yourself. Think of other life stories. Find yourself a hobby. Train your mind and make it stronger. Learn to resist those memories that cause pain.

Step number 5. Cry

1. As soon as your relationship has come to an end, do not throw out emotions to the closest people. They should not see your weaknesses, so you are humiliated and cause unnatural pity.
2. In this case, close people can condemn you and say that the relationship was initially doomed to failure. A married man is not the best choice, everything could not end well. If you want to throw out emotions, do it in private.
3. Take a pillow, start screaming and crying at it. Believe, you will feel better. The most important thing - no one will see how much you hurt. If necessary, visit a psychologist, a specialist can express everything. Do not kill yourself, do not engage in self-flagellation.
4. You are young, do not forget about it, live on. It should be understood that age is a psychological state.This is not about biological years, even if you are 30+. Do not be afraid to be alone with yourself, think about the good.
5. Also, do not resort to alcohol and similar substances. In this case, you will not find a way out. It will become much more painful, besides, you will significantly plant health. Refer to the services of a psychologist, there is nothing to worry about. Direct your emotions to sports or creativity.

Step number 6. Start a new life

1. It is necessary to completely eliminate the unfortunate love story from life. Start creating a story from the beginning. Do not dwell on experienced feelings, there are many pleasant things in the world, always remember this.
2. Draw conclusions, analyze what you could learn during the time spent together. At this point, stop and cross out all that was. Express thoughts on paper, re-read, then burn. Such advice will give you a psychologist, they really work.
3. Try to do what you have always dreamed of. Remember what you always put off until later because of a lack of time. It is not worthless to spend free hours. Now you have much more time, use it according to your mind.
4. Move all emotions related to a love story to the background. You are more ruining yourself from the inside; it doesn’t get any easier for anyone. It is also strongly recommended to change the activity if it does not suit you. Find a job for the soul and enjoy life.

Revise your behavior, begin to respect your own "I." Find the strength to part with a married man. Put yourself in his wife's place, say the cherished words of farewell. Try to stop loving your former lover and burn all the bridges.

Video: how to complete a relationship with a married man