Slow child - why and what to do?

Every mother loves her child. But even parents with angelic patience can become annoyed when the child every morning does not have time to get ready for school, does homework until the night, moves barely. Slowness is considered to be a flaw that requires correction. But is it really?

Reason - phlegmatic

Slowness is the main sign of a phlegmatic temperament. It is difficult for people of this type to switch from one type of activity to another, as a result of which those actions that take a couple of minutes for other people are stretched by phlegmatic people for an hour. If the true reason for sluggishness is really in temperament, then surely parents could observe the first manifestations as early as preschool age, when the kindergarden could not put on his own clothes, confused in his own sleeves.

In school, phlegmatic symptoms increase.This often ends with the fact that the child switches to a single subject for which he has excellent grades. But the rest of the disciplines are clearly lame: the student simply does not have time for them. The same is true with circles - in free time, phlegmatic people rarely devote themselves to several occupations.

What are the advantages
Temperaments are not divided into bad and good, and phlegmatic have hidden virtues. Often, slowness goes hand in hand with thoughtfulness, calm character and flexibility of thinking. Growing up, these children will not make hasty decisions, and make superficial conclusions. Their energy will be directed to the development in the area that they are interested in, allowing it to succeed.

Ways to accelerate
In no case can not force the child-kopushu to do something faster by force. It is even worse when a parent threatens with punishment for failing to perform any actions within a specified time, even if they do not require that at all. Such "kicks" will not give the desired result, but only lead to the fact that the child closes in himself or becomes angry. But in the future, the child will face the fact that he will have to learn self-discipline and time planning. And so that this process is less painful, it is possible to prepare the ground for it now.There are special exercises in order to disperse the dirt.

1. Timer. Immersed in any activity, the child can sit behind him for hours. He does not notice how time is running out, and his strength is being exhausted. In order to prevent this, set a timer on the clock and arrange with the child that he should take a break when the clock rings. Set the number of calls, after which the time for the action to expire. The clock should not stand in front of the schoolboy's eyes. It is better if they are placed somewhere on the side. The child will not be distracted by them, but he will be able to see how much time he has left. For the fact that he will meet the deadline, be sure to reward him with something. Even a sweetness or a small increase in pocket money will be a powerful motivation to speed up internal rhythms.
2. Racing with the school. Due to the fact that phlegmatic is difficult to get used to the new school year, in the first month of study he will lag behind the curriculum. In such a situation, the best solution would be to buy textbooks in the summer, so that the child could become familiar with what awaits him ahead and prepare for this.The advantage of such classes is that in the summer the student has a lot of free time. He will be able to re-read one paragraph as many times as he wants. And then he may catch on his sincere interest in studying and, with the start of classes, will be happy to demonstrate his knowledge. When a person is doing what he does well, it gives a desire to continue the work without leaving him halfway through.
3. Competition. Phlegmatic difficult to drag in any section, because he was not accustomed to spend time on this. But what if the circle will provide a competitive element? Running, swimming, skiing - all this not only produces a desire to outrun an opponent, but also develops physical fitness. Sport gives confidence and helps to make new friends in the team.

If not temperament - then what?

Not always a phlegmatic temperament is the cause of slowness. In some cases, the main role is played by a banal lack of concentration, when the child is distracted by any trifle and gives up in the middle.He can play with nearby objects instead of doing homework. Or sit in the smartphone during school fees.

In this case, a conversation with the child about his future will help. We must show him the consequences of good study and composure. In no case should you intimidate him with phrases like: “You will be a bum, you will grow up into a homeless person!”. It will only cause fear, and fear always leads aggression. It is better to ask the child about who he wants to become and what he wants. Do not indulge in spatial philosophical reflections on the mind - let it be an easy conversation about simple desires like a big house or a strong family. Show that you value his views and help him on his way to a dream, but, above all, the child must make an effort.

In another case, slowness is the result of fear of making a mistake. The child is so afraid of responsibility for the wrong result, that he prefers not to do anything at all - fear of appearing stupid where much stronger than fear of being lazy. Sometimes this is caused by innate traits of character and a sincere desire for an ideal. But most often this fear is formed under the influence of threats fromparents. Punishment for a deuce or poorly washed dishes completely discourage the desire to do something next time. Therefore, it is worth looking at your behavior from the side and try to correct it.

By the way, about anxiety - stress often leads to a decrease in attentiveness and composure. Perhaps the child suffers from those events that you knew about, but did not consider it worth the experience. Children react to everything more acutely than adults. This does not mean that it is necessary to rush around the child for any reason, surrounding it with its tireless supervision.

Heart-to-heart talk is where the solution to most problems begins. Ask the child about how his days are going, what his mood is. No need to arrange an interrogation if he refuses to make contact. Just let him know that he can always count on your support and share his feelings.

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